Thursday 18th May and I'm taking himself to catch a train from Droitwich. I wasn't actually driving there, just back, so I had time to check out my phone. There was a message, like so many before, from ebay telling me that the item I had been watching was about to end. I clicked the link and there it was (surprise, surprise) a dolls house. As it happens, there was still 9 minutes to go and the house was still bidding at £5.50. Well, it was 6.30 in the morning and I figured that nobody would get up that early to to follow this up, so I waited...... I noticed that collection for this was at Matlock. That's only about half an hour away, right?? So I waited some more. 2 minutes to go and I suddenly had a panic - what if I would have to go through some rigourous sign-in session and I couldn't remember my password. I put in a bid of £7.00, but was instantly outbid, saying that it wasn't enough. Time to decide how much I really wanted this house and how much I was prepared to pay. So I left it until there was just 14 seconds left and I took a risk and put my top offer in of £21.86, fully prepared to accept that it would probably sell for much more. As my offer was accepted, the time ran out. £13.94 and mine was the winning bid! Hurrah. I particularly wanted this house because it is the same house as my existing one.
So, having paid for the house I set about arranging collection. I sent the seller a message asking if it would be convenient to collect it on the Saturday. She replied with her phone number saying "Call me when you get to Matlock and I'll give you directions, and make it about 5pm please". Okaaay......! Sounds very mysterious, but given that the lady doesn't know me from Adam, I was respectful of her wishes to not give out personal details. Saturday came and we decided to travel to Matlock early and explore the town a little. I did message the lady to say that we were about to leave and gave her my phone number so that she wouldn't block me when I did call.
Matlock - much prettier when it's not raining, I imagine!
Matlock is a lovely old town, however, it took us 2 hours to get there! OMG! I had no idea how far away from home it was, and I began to feel guilty at dragging himself all the way up there just so that I could pick up another house. Anyway, we explored the town for a little while, and I messaged the lady again to ask for directions. She gave me yet another cryptic message, making the whole episode feel a little clandestine. "Drive up the road till you see the garage, turn here and park up and phone me again" - oooer!! So off we went on our magical mystery tour.
Having reached our destination (ie, the middle of absolutely nowhere with a fish and chip shop opposite!) we found a space to park and I called the seller again. No reply! OK, try again.....No reply! So now I'm beginning to think I've definitely been taken for a mug. I mean, fgs, the woman is expecting my call, I've tried twice but no answer. We all sat silently looking at one another in the car and my mind is going into overdrive. One more time..... Brrr Brrr.....Brrr Brrr.... "Hello, F's phone?" Thank God! I explained who I was and why I was calling but the gentleman on the other end didn't seem to have a clue what I was talking about. Eventually he spoke to a voice in the background then whispered to me with a Geordie accent "Meet me at the bottom of the steps - I've got to try and get it out of the house without my little girl noticing" Huh? 10 minutes later I heard a clunking and huffing/puffing sound and I went to the bottom of a flight of about 50 vertical stone steps, and right at the top was the man carrying my enormous house! Oh sweet lord, now I'm praying that he doesn't put a foot wrong - literally! The rest of this tale is less dramatic, unless I really go into great detail about how many different ways we tried to squeeze the house into the back of my Rover 25, almost to the point of dumping it there and then on the pavement and driving off without it! And in any case, the waft of fish and chips had become so overpowering, the only thought on my mind now was sitting down with a bag of salty chips. My reward for being such a tolerant passenger and not nagging himself when he almost snapped the roof off the house.
So, having made it home in one piece I set about preparing The Chestnuts for it's new and exciting makeover.
I have decided to give The Chestnuts a theme, and over the coming weeks and throughout it's renovation, I hope that it's new theme will become inevitable. Watch this space.....
